Three years on…

Sqk in soft play today

Friday was the third anniversary of the day we met Sqk. I can still recall knocking on his FC's door and hearing a little voice coming running shouting Daddy, Mummy. Such a great way to meet our son who has changed our life in so many ways. We know we are incredibly lucky in having an adopted child with only a couple of issues – social/emotional delay and suspected sensory processing issues. He is pretty well attached to us and in many ways you would not know he was adopted in any way. He is a boisterous boy who is never happier than when given safe space to run, jump and generally muck around. His social delay is becoming an issue at school as he is struggling with he transition to year 1 although he still loves going to school and is making progress in every area except writing. Ask him something verbally and he can give you a really good answer but he still cannot get it down on paper even though he can also tell you how to form letters etc. They have been doing sentences recently and he is happy enough explaining all the rules but not happy to apply them on paper. We are working with him on the writing but also have a paediatrician's appointment on Friday to explore if there is any reason behind his writing difficulties as he is well behind the rest of the class even taki account of the fact he is a summer-born child. I do now regret not trying to defer his entry for a year although that would have caused issues in Reception due to it being shared space between the two forms. However if we can get the help we need with his writing he is fine academically otherwise apart from not wanting to sit still. He has the odd day when he is attention seeking and the teacher finds it difficult with him & 28 other children. We are awaiting PAS to get back to us having requested an assessment for SPD – prepared if necessary to fund therapy ourselves if ASF restrictions affect us. I really must find the time (& courage) this week to phone PAS as well as orthotics ( for Sqk) and orthodontics (for me) this week to chase things up.

Sqk struggles so much to sit still – manages for a short while when watching TV but then starts wriggling and eventually bouncing between our 2 sofas if in lounge. It isn't ADHD I do know as we have pretty much no sleep issues at all (occasional sleep resistance every 3-4months). I grew up with a hyperactive brother so I am well aware of how that presents. Sqk just seems to be seeking movement input all the time and loves swinging, spinning and bouncing which ties in with all I have read about SPD. I have been looking around and found an occupational therapist fairly locally (town around 15 miles north) who is accredited for SIT, SAI and DDP and who has experience with adopted/fostered children so get the feeling we may be trying to use her. However we need PAS to get back to us first….Made contact and had initial discussion in July so really need to push to see where they are. Hoping once RAA comes into being next April we might benefit from the PAS service in the next city which by all reports is pretty good.

Talking of the next city the move may be back on the cards at some point as T is looking for a new job which is fairly certain to involve him travelling to one of the towns on the other side of the M62 and east of us. My new job is in next city over so we are potentially looking at the east side of that city close to the good motorway links to give us both a better commute. All depends on which if any of the 5/6 jobs he has applied to actually come to fruition. Really hoping that it is one of the outpatient dispensary roles in hospital as that would really suit him. Means moving back to the large multiple who sold his current pharmacy to current boss back in 2012 but his then area manager is now in charge of hospital business for the company so actually works out well. We can but wait and see but that gentleman had been talking about moving T into OPD pharmacist role at the local hospital if the company had won that contract so even 5 years back recognised it was a role that would suit him.

T is being selective about where he applies for jobs – he really wants out of our current city which I can well understand. Bar any birth parent risk it is also not the easiest of places to work – in so many ways I am looking forward to moving jobs to the next city (it is around 3 miles further but avoids city centres) for similar reasons. Our city is on the up but it has a long long way to go.


Where we are….

Sat in our local soft play place which is keeping Sqk amused while Daddy has to work this morning – flu jab training today. Not certain if this will be paid or not – probably not as it counts as CPD (Edit: definitely not). We are in the middle of third anniversaries at the moment – yesterday was 3 years since our matching panel hard though that is to believe. Also this week it was 17 years since I started working at the university which bar a year as an intern (paid) in the USA is the only place I have properly worked beyond vacation jobs while at uni. Seems very odd to realise that 11 weeks on Tuesday will probably be (provided I don’t need holiday day beforehand) my last day there. Finished first week of term and told some of the students I am leaving – news will get round.

On adoption front this past year has included the 2 big milestones of Sqk being with us longer than his main placement in foster care (last Dec) and on my Dad’s 65th birthday having been with us longer than he was in care (which he was from birth). This year he has made some huge leaps forward although year 1 is looking like being the issue we expected. Really we should have deferred his entry to school by a year given his social/emotional age but there were a couple of reasons we didn’t and they still remain. This week is first time we have had a report from school that he has really struggled and been attention seeking all day – on the day I was home ill in bed which may have something to do with it. He coped with yesterday when unusually his childminder had him for the hour before school as I had a one-off 9am lecture I had to give. But that was with warning and preparation which we cannot give him when I am ill. Bless him Sqk still wants to play and not sit down and formally learn plus his handwriting is still a big problem. Reading and maths (verbal) he is well up in but his writing will start to hold him back. Mind you verbally he is great with literacy – last night he happily told me how to write a sentence correctly and he can tell you what is wrong with something you write.

I have managed to find an app on the iPad to help with cursive writing so hoping with his chunky stylus he will start to do that. Problem we really have is both DH (CP) and myself (dyspraxia) have problems with handwriting ourselves and neither of us hold a pen correctly so it is fun trying to help Sqk. We will get there though although cursive may never come fully. Really I just want him to be able to write legibly. Hopefully we will get there eventually…..