An update

It's Remembrance Sunday when pre-Sqk I would have attended a service but this morning we are at soft-play to give Daddy chance to do a few jobs around the house. Not certain how much longer I will manage as headachy due to poor nights sleep. We seem to be taking it in turns at moment – Sqk had bad nights Weds/Thurs, DH Fri and me last night. Anxiety still about due to DH's job situation – we had less than a fortnight free of it after I made my decision before his boss asked him to start looking for another job. Sqk picks up on this however much we try.

My work is just a case of keeping head down and finishing out this term. Two more colleagues resigned at end of October (leave end of Jan) which in one fell swoop with my previous resignation has pretty much wiped out robotics & embedded systems… but that is there problem not ours. I believe remaining colleagues will be informed on Wednesday what final plan is – only 7 months since we were told we were being shut down.

On Sqk front, he seems to be coping at school – had my first conversation with a teacher over curriculum this week following a request for a baby photo for science. Turned out to be just looking at how they have changed over the years and she did say the message should have been baby or toddler. I have cunning plans for when inheritance from your parents comes and also round family trees. Parents evening this week so should get a better idea of how he is doing – still behind on writing but making bounds forward in reading and maths (provided you don't want him to write maths down) is what I expect. He had a couple of bad days in assembly this week but then did really well on Friday afternoon when he would have been really tired so normally would have played up. Mind you he has slept he clock round and over e last two nights so is catching up on that lost sleep.

We have been trying to explain the significance of poppies to him – we went to Caernarfon Castle last weekend to see the Weeping Window. Stayed with our two great friends on Anglesey which was lovely. Sqk' weekend highlight however was e visit to Electric Mountain (DeNorwig pump-storage power station) which he couldn't stop talking about according to school & childminder. Gave me a chance to explain electricity generation to him – with his Uncle M's help. He happens to have worked in nuclear power industry his entire career hence they location on Anglesey as he is an important part of the development of the new plant at Wylfa. His husband (and DH's best man) works in path lab for North Wales trust. Made us laugh that it takes B about the 10 mins longer to get to work than M and he goes 3 times as far if not more. As DH says A55 has made a real difference. I will admit that I have been keeping my eyes open for jobs at Bangor Uni as DH loves the area.

Mind you if T gets the job he applied for last weekend we are not moving anywhere. His perfect job came up (combining pharmacy and computing) which would be closer to home then where he is currently plus being a lot more flexible and desk based. So at the moment we have everything crossed for him. If he gets at I might actually not always be doing everything with Sqk during the working weekend gives us a further emergency contact beyond myself and my mother. Be good as my new job means I will be 30-40 mins away as opposed to the current 15-20.

Sqk saw the paediatrician a few weeks back and there is nothing physically wrong she thinks that is causing his fine motor issues. Awaiting an OT referral and have hearing test plus we need to organise sight test. And I really need to get onto PAS about assessment of need as we really do feel much of his issues can be put down to sensory processing. However he is making incredible progress – is now 91st centipede for height having grown 30cm from August 13 to Oct 16. A little concerned over head circumference which is only 9th centile but paediatrician said she thought it in part could be down to him having a flat back to his head as there is little sign of any the issues that can be associated with a small head.

Three years on…

Sqk in soft play today

Friday was the third anniversary of the day we met Sqk. I can still recall knocking on his FC's door and hearing a little voice coming running shouting Daddy, Mummy. Such a great way to meet our son who has changed our life in so many ways. We know we are incredibly lucky in having an adopted child with only a couple of issues – social/emotional delay and suspected sensory processing issues. He is pretty well attached to us and in many ways you would not know he was adopted in any way. He is a boisterous boy who is never happier than when given safe space to run, jump and generally muck around. His social delay is becoming an issue at school as he is struggling with he transition to year 1 although he still loves going to school and is making progress in every area except writing. Ask him something verbally and he can give you a really good answer but he still cannot get it down on paper even though he can also tell you how to form letters etc. They have been doing sentences recently and he is happy enough explaining all the rules but not happy to apply them on paper. We are working with him on the writing but also have a paediatrician's appointment on Friday to explore if there is any reason behind his writing difficulties as he is well behind the rest of the class even taki account of the fact he is a summer-born child. I do now regret not trying to defer his entry for a year although that would have caused issues in Reception due to it being shared space between the two forms. However if we can get the help we need with his writing he is fine academically otherwise apart from not wanting to sit still. He has the odd day when he is attention seeking and the teacher finds it difficult with him & 28 other children. We are awaiting PAS to get back to us having requested an assessment for SPD – prepared if necessary to fund therapy ourselves if ASF restrictions affect us. I really must find the time (& courage) this week to phone PAS as well as orthotics ( for Sqk) and orthodontics (for me) this week to chase things up.

Sqk struggles so much to sit still – manages for a short while when watching TV but then starts wriggling and eventually bouncing between our 2 sofas if in lounge. It isn't ADHD I do know as we have pretty much no sleep issues at all (occasional sleep resistance every 3-4months). I grew up with a hyperactive brother so I am well aware of how that presents. Sqk just seems to be seeking movement input all the time and loves swinging, spinning and bouncing which ties in with all I have read about SPD. I have been looking around and found an occupational therapist fairly locally (town around 15 miles north) who is accredited for SIT, SAI and DDP and who has experience with adopted/fostered children so get the feeling we may be trying to use her. However we need PAS to get back to us first….Made contact and had initial discussion in July so really need to push to see where they are. Hoping once RAA comes into being next April we might benefit from the PAS service in the next city which by all reports is pretty good.

Talking of the next city the move may be back on the cards at some point as T is looking for a new job which is fairly certain to involve him travelling to one of the towns on the other side of the M62 and east of us. My new job is in next city over so we are potentially looking at the east side of that city close to the good motorway links to give us both a better commute. All depends on which if any of the 5/6 jobs he has applied to actually come to fruition. Really hoping that it is one of the outpatient dispensary roles in hospital as that would really suit him. Means moving back to the large multiple who sold his current pharmacy to current boss back in 2012 but his then area manager is now in charge of hospital business for the company so actually works out well. We can but wait and see but that gentleman had been talking about moving T into OPD pharmacist role at the local hospital if the company had won that contract so even 5 years back recognised it was a role that would suit him.

T is being selective about where he applies for jobs – he really wants out of our current city which I can well understand. Bar any birth parent risk it is also not the easiest of places to work – in so many ways I am looking forward to moving jobs to the next city (it is around 3 miles further but avoids city centres) for similar reasons. Our city is on the up but it has a long long way to go.