The Future

Who can say what the future holds for Sqk (the boy's new online name). After all he has only been moved in with us for just over a week. At the moment we are dealing with a tired boy after a couple of bad nights on Thursday & Friday – we made a couple of mistakes in not having proper calm time either night, or me feeding him part of his hot chocolate. Plus he met some new people on both days – my sister, brother-in-law and younger nephew on Thursday and my mother on Friday. He seemed ok with it all but we do wander. Keeping meetings limited this coming week – got his SW and health vistor coming – but luckily due to short distance he has moved his HV is same. Also got a hair cut but that again is with someone he knows. The only new people he is meeting is his other grandparents.

So that is his immediate future – along with me trying to sort out his body clock to the new time. Beyond that it is slow and steady for the foreseeable future. He seems to be alright other than rage tantrums when he is tired which we are slowly working out how to deal with. T is back at work for a day tomorrow – he is working three days this coming week, and then four days for the next 3 weeks. gradual return so Sqk and I can learn to deal with each other from 8am till 6.20pmish. The bond between us is growing I feel which is good.

Future is a big thing – I remember how much I have planned and then things have changed. Our real hope for Sqk in the future is that he is happy with us and can live an independent happy life.

First full day

Well at end of first full day with us – he woke up here & went to bed here. We had an upset boy at 2.30am but he was soon soothed although getting back to sleep took longer. Also resulted in annoyed cat as he’d been fast asleep on me.

Later start this morning due to hour awake in night but we eventually got going after cuddles & snuggles in Mummy & Daddy’s bed. Spent the day around the house and doing bits & bats we needed. Went to park this afternoon as good weather & he happily ran around between the various slides, seesaw ( with Daddy) & swings. Got an ice-cream to finish with – he covered his face & his clothes but enjoyed it.

Dinner was fun but in the end he ate most of it & managed 2 fromage frais & a fruit puree pot. Watched a bit of Kipper DVD from his auntie (T’s sister) then bath, story and bed. Laid in our bed with the odd cough but no upset and asleep quickly. Now to see if he wakes up in middle of night again.

All in all had a good day and the bond with both of us is growing. First SW visit of week tomorrow so have to be up ( well dressed) better than today. Three visits this week – tomorrow is his ( official one) then have local SW who has done some Theraplay training to give us some simple things to do with him ( our request). Our SW is also coming as his is doing first 2 weekly visits due to being on holiday for a fortnight after that. Our SW wanted to see us to check we were ok rather than not seeing us for best part of 3 weeks.

Ok wrote this yesterday & didn’t manage to post 🙂

Intros Day 12

What a strange strange day. Picked the boy up from FCs house where he actually let Daddy put him in the car seat rather than insisting FC did it as on last 2 mornings. Then it was a drive off to another local town – mainly to pay a decent cheque from HMRC into bank. Got some more long-sleeved tops for us all and managed to grab a coffee as well although the boy did test boundaries a bit by jumping on furniture. He then insisted on walking (been in buggy up to stop for coffee) which we allowed but he didn’t like holding Daddy’s hand. A bit later he decided to start crawling around in a shop as Mummy was purchasing lumber cushion (new car has good support and I am noticing lack in my car). Eventually Daddy had to pick him up as he kept crawling – saying he was walking. Got back to car where Daddy tried to train the boy on shutting caps on sports bottle tops when not drinking from them and set off home – as is becoming usual he fell asleep on way back.

I did wake him up when we got back and he had a bit of lunch before happily playing around the house – not really registering when T dived out to put another cheque in bank that had arrived in post today. We had discussions over climbing on furniture in shoes and jumping on it as well – allowed to bounce on Mummy & Daddy but not solo. He also managed to start climbing up shelves at one point – can see we are going to be having numerous discussions about this until he gets it. As advised by brother-in-law we are picking our battles carefully – really concentrating on the ones where there is a chance of harm coming to him for now. So holding one of our hands when on roads or in shops and not jumping around on furniture (already fallen and banged his head once).  His FC arrived with most of the rest of his stuff and her other two kids as agreed. They got a tour of the house – partly led by the boy but also by me and played a bit with his stuff before they left for final dinner at Pizza Hut.

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Intros Day 11

What a day. Started well with review meeting showing that everyone felt things were going well. Ok T spent most of it amusing the boy but he still contributed. Moving in day was moved forward to Saturday 🙂 So one more day of this strange situation – and as T pointed out coming back this evening we do not drop him back at FCs again.

Rest of day went equally well – went to local park and fed the ducks – well geese mainly in case of the boy. He did however manage to measure his length twice by running along and not being completely balanced. No crying – just when we insisted he took a hand when a car was around and we were on road. Then off to do weekly shop which was interesting given his dislike of staying in the trolley, or holding hands. Can see online shopping being the way forward with an occassional quick visit for bits as coping with him by myself would not be fun. Anyway after all that he had snacked a fair amount, and fell asleep in car on way home. He’d been up at 5.30 so we let him sleep – woke up when I got him out the car at home, but a few minutes snuggling with Mummy in rocking chair and he was back to sleep again. Once again he showed that he has some bond to me as I could soothe him and get him back to sleep. Meant we got our lunch in peace.
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Intros Day 10

Full day today – well from when I picked the boy up at 9.30 till just before bedtime at 18.45. It went well other than FC having to put boy into car seat first thing that is. We came home and played a bit and had Fireman Sam on in background at times. Saw Henry-cat before he scarpered for the day and drew pretty pictures on my iPad.

the-boy-ipad-1 the-boy-ipad-2

Eventually we set off for T’s pharmacy – he didn’t fall asleep quite as quickly today but was asleep by the time we arrived. However he woke up again and was very glad to see Daddy. Spent about 30 mins or so there – we ran in circles round the shop floor (only one customer in during time we were there). He went through to dispensary in T’s arms and had it explained to him that he should not go through there without one of us.

Drove back with a sleeping boy but arrived home in heavy rain so the boy woke up when I got him out the car and promptly stayed awake. Another fun afternoon of playing with cars and bouncing on Mummy ensued. He came into kitchen with me as I prepared the evening meal for us all. Fed him at his usual time and was pleased when he enjoyed the meal – it was something I’d been told he would eat but wasn’t sure he would eat my version 🙂 I fed him most of two yoghurts although he managed part of the second himself as I had to answer the door. Played a bit more before he had his bath which he really enjoyed and didn’t want to get out of. Just got him dressed in pyjamas when Daddy arrived home which he loved. Eventually we had to reluctantly take him back to FC’s.

Review meeting tomorrow and then full day with us both. Hoping for move in on Saturday….

 

Intros Day 9

How did today go? Well I feel. The boy & FC arrived as expected – with another load of stuff – including first set of clothes. FC left with boy being pretty upset as she went – I tried to soothe him and was starting to get laughter as well as tears when his SW arrived. After about 15 mins he was fine – distracted him with the glass pebbles in glass bowl on our windowsill which he'd played with yesterday – posting them all behind the fire guard then. Today it was down gap in radiator – but it kept him amused and cheered him up. His SW didn't stay very long but by the time she went he was happy.

We spent the morning playing – and investigating the house more. Again Henry-cat was very patient as the boy fussed him sat on our bed. We played with cars all over the house and watched Fireman Sam snuggled together on the settee. He bounced on me and with my help on the floor. He loves me holding him under arms and bouncing. We played peekabo round the lounge curtain and hide and seek round the dining table. Lots of eye contact as I could get it.

Getting lunch he came into kitchen with me and tried to open doors and drawers – very glad we had safety locks on them all. We ate and raced on a banana at end. Then it was into the car and off to T's pharmacy. The boy feel asleep on the way, woke up after we arrived and then feel asleep in Daddy's arms. So not much of a visit but was pleased to see Daddy. Tomorrow I have decided we go before lunch in the hope he will be awake to see T. Coming back he slept more, woke up when I got him out the car seat and out of his coat. I brought him upstairs to his bedroom and sat down in the rocking chair with him in my arms. He snuggled down and feel asleep on me – tears in my eyes at this point. Eventually I moved him onto the bed and he slept till about 15 mins before FC was due to pick him up when I woke him up. Changed nappy and took him down where he watched a bit more Fireman Sam, which gave FC and I chance to put his slide & swing into garage. The boy gave me a kiss and a cuddle before he left.

Tomorrow I get to pick him up from FCs and then we spend the entire day together – dropping him back at bedtime so he should see Daddy twice. Last day of T working for 11 days – not been ideal during Intros but all agreed best for the boy as otherwise respite would have been needed.