Where are we nearly 2 weeks into placement? I feel that we are still doing very well and the report from his SW for the upcoming LAC review suggests she agrees. Sqk met his elder cousin earlier in the week (met younger one and my sister & brother-in-law last week) at the local woods – so they could run safely. He behaved fairly well although we are still having discussions over sitting down when eating 🙂 The photo below is Sqk and Daddy in the same woods last weekend when we took him for a walk there ourselves. He loved the freedom to run but we are still getting him to understand stopping when we call. Thinks it is great fun to make us run after him. However the message about holding hands when cars are about has gone in as he doesn't make a fuss about that now.
Yesterday we travelled to a National Trust property with pletny of grounds to meet T's parents so they could meet their first grandchild. He ran around happily but we had buggy with us when he decided to start pushing – it has muddy wheels now but T promises me he will clean them. Sqk behaved fairly well for him – mind you he had slept on the journey there. We did have a minor rage tantrum at lunch time when he decided he had then hadn't then had finished with his lunch. This is typical of him when he is tired. However my in-laws were really pleased to finally meet him and seem to be very happy which is great for me. I suppose I am lucky in that my sister-in-law is a primary school teacher (was foundation & is EELs trained) in a deprieved area so has been involved with LAC. She understands the needs for him to get a secure base with us and to allow the attachment to form to us. Therefore my -parent-in-laws have someone who can explain things to them if they seem strange.
We did have a major meltdown this morning – and a bit of a disturbed night but that was more due to him being a restless sleeper and somehow working himself into his bed so he was trapped. I went and sorted him out at 1.30 and he went back to sleep. He came to find us at 5.30am although he did lie quietly with us on our bed for 30 mins or so before starting to play up. Cause was Daddy not allowing him to turn on his bedside light so he decided to have a mammoth tantrum – eventually he came over to me and when I said same thing he continued. However the great thing was he was crying for us throughout – not his FC as had been the case with a similar tantrum last week. Neither of us felt it was anymore than Sqk being 2 however …
I'm on my third day this week without T – come to a local under-5's soft-play area to allow Sqk to run off some of his endless energy – which he did and having been awake since 5.30, is now asleep having fallen asleep on our way home. Even with the rain I managed to get him into the house and to his bed with minimal disturbance – snuggling into me on rocking chair for 5 mins is about all it took. I will have to go wake him up soon as he hasn't had lunch and also I do not really want him sleeping beyond 2pm as he might then have issues tonight. (Ok 2.08pm he has just woken up)
All in all both T & I have commented that we feel the attachment is coming slowly – and the bond is definitely there. Sqk is starting to push boundaries as any 2 year old does and is starting to mainly cry for us when distressed not his FC. But we are not complacent and are expecting the grieving process at some point when he realises that this is forever and not just extended respite. We both still feel we have been incredibly lucky and feel so priviledged to be able to be the parents of such a lovely boy. We do not expect plain sailing from here on in and will be on the watch for anything that is more than a toddler being two.
It is strange looking back – the equivalent Friday of today last year we were wandering what our preparation course was going to be like and 2 years back we were just discussing contacting the LA about adoption. Now we are parents to a gorgeous little boy and both of us struggle to remember life before he came. It's only been 4 weeks next Monday since we first met him and he will have been home 2 weeks tomorrow but I cannot imagine this house and my life without him. T's comment yesterday was 'Isn't this the same as when we met' which i suppose it it. We knew within 4 weeks that we were meant to be together and this is how it feels with Sqk.