I decided last week to actually try and take part in this challenge. So far so good with a week completed (well 8 days with today being ninth). I thought recording each week on here would also help – started on a Monday so going to challenge myself to post previous week by end of Wednesday.
Actually it is 6 months 1 week and 1 day since we brought Sqk back to this house forever. DH commented earlier that ‘is it really only 6 months’ and ‘where has the time gone’. Both of us struggle to remember fully life before Sqk came along, much as when we got together within 6 months we struggled to remember live pre-meeting. We still count ourselves really blessed to have had on the whole a relatively easy placement given Sqk was 2 yrs 3 mths old with a bond that deepens by the day and we feel an attachment that is growing. Yes he hasn’t experienced as much trauma as many. His is the loss of his birth mother at 1 week old (he never left hospital) and then the loss of his foster carer from 5 weeks old when he was placed with us. However his FC did a wonderful job is preparing him well and I still feel lucky. I want to sort out his life-story book and then we can start looking at that with him. Hoping he understands that he is adopted from a young age – although to him at moment it must seem quite normal as most of the children he meets are in the same situation.
We met FC and foster-siblings again this week and had little fallout from that. On Friday the local adoption support group had a meet-up in the park which was great for both of us although Sqk interacted little with the other children as the 2 girls he knew from Adoption Stay & Play were off playing with the elder girl there that they now from other park meet-ups. He did love the trampoline – just justifying that we do need to get a trampoline as we thought. As the weather improves these meet-ups will happen on a Sunday monthly I believe which will give all of us chance to interact with others.
More fallout tonight I think after Daddy had not been here at bedtime two nights out of three. He was here tonight but we think Sqk must have slept poorly last night although every-time I checked he was fine as he has been distinctly tired today. Even he recognised he was tired and asked to go to bed early although he is only just now settling down to sleep after a tired tantrum. I love him so much but he has been hard work today – at least next week we are back into routine again which will help. Then of course we are off to Scotland on Saturday morning for a week’s holiday so routine will go again but at least DH will be around to share the burden.
Sqk is a wonderful boy who had me nearly in tears as I watched him play with the children of the other adopters from my prep group last week. Yes he has his moments when we are trying to work out what is going on his little head like tonight and not going to sleep even though he knew he was tired and had asked to go to bed. All in all 6 months in I do not regret anything and just wish he was legally ours….
I was hoping last week to blog about the fact that Sqk was now legally ours as our final hearing for adoption order was on Maundy Thursday. However due to the fact that neither of the Annex A authors were there the judge adjourned the case to 2nd May. What is frustrating is that our SW had checked with courts when we got date precisely about this fact as she is on annual leave and Sqk's previous SW wrote the annex A before she left the authority to have her first child. She was told it would be fine – which in the end it is not. In addition the judge was the same one who made original placement order and she wanted to know why the agreement for twice yearly indirect contact with birth parents was now once yearly. Simple answer is we do not feel up to writing 6 letters a year (birth parents plus two birth siblings) and the usual approach is once a year for letterbox anyway. All in all a frustrating day on Thursday which had we been told at start one of authors needed to be there we would have requested an adjournment to next week and would not have got ourselves worked up.
Some quick thoughts after watching this programme on Channel 4 (also recorded for future viewing). Just edited and linking to #waso as I may not get chance to write much on this week’s theme.