An interesting topic this week for #waso. In our world the only thing that is really a secret is Sqk’s story and that is not so much with us as external to us. After all it is his story so we say very little about why he was removed from his birth family. We do talk about adoption and openly say he is adopted – helps he knows a lot of children who are adopted. Indeed until I went back to work a lot of the children he spent time with are also adopted.
I am hoping he will never remember being told he is adopted – it is something we discuss with him although at the moment it is in simple terms. Recently he has wanted to be a baby and we have talked about the fact he did not come from Mummy’s tummy but from his birth mother’s (although we use her name as I don’t want to call her mummy at all – that is who I am). He was removed at birth so yes he suffered a loss then (the primal wound) and another loss when he moved from his foster carer to us but other than what he experienced in-utero he has none of the experience many adopted children have had in birth families.
This week we had our first letterbox response from one of his siblings which was lovely to read and which I have talked to him a little about although at the moment he is not really understanding it. His foster siblings are more like his brother & sister than his birth siblings. We see them regularly – more so now I suspect as his foster-sister is in Brownies at our church.
I hope we never have secrets from Sqk although his full story will have to wait until he is old enough to fully appreciate the reasons. We have a wonderful later-life letter written by his social worker from pre-birth to January. This will help us a lot as we come over explore the reason he is adopted.