Coming up to 4 years

At the end of July we reached the 4 year anniversary of our approval panel – having a fortnight earlier had the third anniversary of the celebration hearing. Appropriately given I am Yorkshire born as well as living in Yorkshire our ADM approval was on Yorkshire Day. So another year of being parents is almost over – this time 4 years ago we were anxiously waiting for our link meeting.

And between those two anniversaries Sqk turned 6 and finished year 1. His report was as expected although both DH and I were pleased to see his meeting expected levels in Maths & Science as well as reading. Unsurprisingly his handwriting, art and DT were all below – all areas where his fine motor control problems have an impact. These are related in part to the underdevelopment of his core & shoulder girdle which is also part of his sensory needs. School I have worked with us and just before they broke up I missed a three line whip event at work to have a transition meeting with the SENCO & his new year 2 teacher. We agreed about where he is and how much progress has been made this year – mainly thanks to the full 1 to 1 support he now has. Plan is to apply for EHCP after October half-term when they have a full 12 months of evidence to show the impact of the measures. Also if the year 2 SATs happen next year he will have a scribe for them. Unfortunately due to various reasons he is having a complete change of 1 to 1 support so the first few week of term are not going to be fun. He is sharing his support with @TwoBoys&Us ‘s Jelly so at least we know when one of them is out of school the other will just have the same TA all day. Plus one of the TA’s ( who is very experienced & lovely apparently) will get the sensory training from Sarah Lloyd which has reassured me somewhat.

Hope end of year 2 is that EHCP will be coming and we have a successful set of SATs. Plus Sqk will be meeting expectations in a few more areas than 3 – he is a bright boy so with support to help him focus we might get there. Bless him he also has to repeat the phonics screening as expected – he got a perfect score on real words and 0 on made up ones. He is beyond phonics really now and reading fluently so T and I are not concerned. For us the main factor is he enjoys school and loves going plus school are working with us with a modified behaviour strategy and the support. His classmates love him – there is competition every day over who is going to be his playtime buddy.

Outside of school he is doing well although we have had some real regression in toileting over the last fortnight. Reasons probably a mixture of reaction after a week of compliance at in-laws in France, not being 100% and new children at childminders. As the local paediatrician put it when we saw her in June – he is a complex mixture of many things adding up to our own unique son. I will admit at times I find it hard going thanks to my own autistic tendencies as Sqk has a love of imaginative play plus loves taking Lego models apart and rebuilding them in his own way. I need to reign in my need to keep models as they come – starting to accept that he will build things in his own way. There is something to be said for Lego as it was in my youth – no models but just a mixture to stimulate your own imagination. I am working on this but it is hard for me especially as he broke up my one beloved model that had been a 40th birthday present. I have most of the bits I think so when I feel up to rebuilding I will.

His favourite Lego game at the moment is to put people together in so many different ways – I have separated his Lego up a bit into various boxes and he has one just of people bits which he loves. I am accepting now I have mixed most stuff up that this is how it will be – and mainly will be buying random boxes rather than sets for him for now. However it is great to see him able to put stuff together where at the start of the year it was a real effort. There are so many subtle things that have changed with the sensory work that we only notice when we realise he is now doing something he struggled with 6 months ago. He would never have pretty much run along a wobbly beam as he did last weekend…

He does gets obsessions with TV programmes or stuff on Netflix. We also notice he tends to disassociate with screens so are trying to limit them to a little. Normally at the moment he gets a bit of TV first thing and then before bed. Time on iPad is used when we need him to stay in one place – or not falling asleep in the car. At home both are opportunities for tummy time so we get some sensory stuff done at the same time. How much he gets varies a lot as it depends on how I am in an evening – when I am on form and happy to play with him it is playing and time with Mummy. When I am struggling then the screens come into play. This morning was a case in point – he has very kindly shared the cold he has had with me which although I am over the worst (2 days off at start of week with sinusitis) has left me full of catarrh so I am sleeping badly and not full of energy. So TV when he was awake at 7 was a real need and we are now at local soft play to give him time to run off some energy. Then it will be off to local stately home which has a great adventure playground and lovely grounds to walk in as I need time outside. We will get picnic stuff on way and enjoy lunch before coming back home. Mummy and son day today as Daddy is learning how to drive – doing training for B+E test so we can get a larger caravan with more in it. Our current setup comes in at 10kg under the max total gross weight of 3.5 tonnes that we both have thanks to passing our tests in 1998 & 1999. We have fallen in love with a layout that would give us more space.

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Adopter with husband T of our son Sqk. Approved at end of July 2013 and Sqk moved in in mid October 2013. Riding the roller-coaster road of adoption although in our case it is not as much of a roller-coaster as it is for many....

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Author: rh

Adopter with husband T of our son Sqk. Approved at end of July 2013 and Sqk moved in in mid October 2013. Riding the roller-coaster road of adoption although in our case it is not as much of a roller-coaster as it is for many....

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