On the road of adoption

No post bar weekly Instagram posts.

In fact last time I posted was mid December. Since then both T & I have changed jobs – January was an interesting month and indeed it is only this week just gone that we are fully into the new routine as before half-term my sister was picking Sqk up from school with her two and taking him to Mum’s on a Friday evening. I have had to change my work at home day as all my teaching this semester falls on a Friday. So now I drop Sqk at school and pick him up on a Thursday after discussions with childminder as this is one of her busiest days. Busiest is Wednesday but that is never a good day in university terms as stuff often happens on a Weds afternoon although my new place of work appears to schedule teaching even then. Ok even with this I am still going into work for noon every other Thursday for research group meeting and this next week I am going in to cover a PG session on embedded software for a colleague who is in Germany.

Our PASW is getting stuff done – ASF funding permitting we are starting sensory work later this month and she is talking to school. We had a meeting this Thursday (was a busy day what with osteopaths, research meeting & this) at school with PASW, SENCO, class teacher and I. A pretty fruitful discussion ensued with me discovering that Sqk has had full-time 1to1 support since they came back after Christmas (would have been nice to be told!!!! Although I have wondered). Also our PASW is good friends with Sqk’s original SW who knew the birth family from well before his birth and has basically said she really doesn’t think there is any need to think about FASD. We still wander due to facial features, small head and ADHD like behaviour. His concentration span on anything he is not interested in is horrendous and as for fine motor control…. However his academic ability appears to be good when he can be sat down – they had a comprehension test the other week where his TA acted as a scribe. His teacher said he did very well – better than a lot of his peers and he is one of the youngest in his year 1 class. He loves reading and story time and enjoys maths so we are all determined to try to get the strategies in place to deal with his wonky brain wiring as he has capability to go far if we can get him to engage.

Socially he is liked by all his peers and is always surrounded by children in playground. Even this morning at soft-play he has made a little friend (probably 3/4) and they are happily running around together. Emotionally he is probably 4 on a good day, 2 on a bad one and somewhere in between most of the time. In some ways had we deferred his entry he might be better off but there is a very good reason we did not and school know this and are grateful for it. Academically it was right decision it is just those emotional skills.

We all agreed that the biggest issue we need to deal with is the ‘stealing’ (food mainly from teachers desks when he sneaks back into school) and lying about not doing something when he blatantly has. These are common issues at school and at home along with the disappearing in the blink of an eye. As the SENCO says he is not a runner but is very good at hiding. We are working with him by saying he must respond when someone calls his name unless it is in hide and seek. Getting better at this at home but it is work in progress. Going to try social stories but need to find some non-autistic aimed ones as he needs the colour and shading that autistic children do not need.

On the positive side Sqk is making progress and hopefully with everything we are all doing we will get there. He is on a modified behaviour policy (yeah). Even when he spat at TA last week it was handled by time in at break – sat on a chair in classroom with teacher present and a sand timer counting down the time. I will admit that having another adopter in the school who has already fought many of the battles has made life so much easier and I am so grateful for that. Plus Sqk copes with me working which is beneficial for my own mental health particularly thanks to the loveliness which is my new campus. So looking forward to the better weather and ability to go walking when I need to think. This is the view out my new office window…