Panel

Well first thing to say is we are now approved. As someone I read recently said it is our adoption equivalent of the blue line on a pregnancy test. We were first panel and being us arrived stupidly early. Ok partly as we were on train as planning to go into town for a meal to celebrate we hoped.

Then had long wait for questions although did spend time discussing next steps in our potential link – and possible dates to meet his SW. Panel was running a bit late so we got our questions about the time we had to go in and hadn’t finished discussing them when chair came down to talk to us.She explained  what was going to happen – introductions then questions then a chance for us to add anything further then we would go to other waiting room while panel asked our SW something in references. This was no surprise to us as there is a potential safeguarding issue within the family of one of our referees ( not referee herself) which was in her reference so we had expected something on that. Once we had finished with questions we went down to panel and found ourselves faced by 13 people (seemed to be more observers than we expected & two minute takers).

The night before

Well we are now within 12 hrs of our panel. I am nervous but also still excited. Had a great meeting with three of the other couples from our prep group tonight. Two couples missing – one starts Introductions tomorrow and N wasn’t feeling well so backed out and the other couple are away we think.

Of those of us who were there – one couple has prospective matching panel 5 weeks tomorrow & 1 is at similar point to us in finding out more about a child. Third couple has yet to see a profile they want to explore further. We had a good time chatting & catching up – become a group who are there to support each other as best we can. Indeed one couple met my sister & brother-in-law as they wanted to meet an adoptive family. They really appreciated it from what was said tonight which made me happy as I started that process by asking N if she would.
Still feeling very positive over our potential link who just seems right to us. Hoping we might get a bit more info tomorrow. Suppose I better try to sleep if I can….

Excited & nervous….

Following last night’s meeting with our SW we have the CPR for a little boy who we both have had a gut reaction of ‘he’s the one’ to. Little older than I hoped for…but only by a few months, but he just feels right so we are taking it forward to gain more information. So we have a potential link – before we are approved adopters 🙂 We were round with my sister and brother-in-law last night (who are experienced adopters) after SW left to discuss things through. Got a lot of useful tips from them and also warning that attachment beyond 24 months can be more difficult which I sort of knew already from my reading around.

I have had this week off (still got far too much holiday to use) as we originally planned to – spent a lot of it catching up on sleep – my version of end-of-termitis. Yes ok the students finished back before Spring Bank (at end of May) but I have been busy until graduation last week. Indeed am still busy – got bits an pieces of work I really should have done this week but decided week off not thinking about work would be good for me.

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Holidays past & future

Holidays for us have till this year consisted usually of 1 week abroad, most years 1 week with T’s parents on their yacht, and a couple of weeks camping usually in UK. In terms of amounts, T gets 25 days plus another 5 days that he buys – I get 35 days plus some extra days between Christmas & New Year and an extra day after Easter. To complicate matters further his runs for a calendar year & mine runs April to March.

This year we managed a week in Cyprus during our usual week at April/May crossover week – which is revision week at uni. Otherwise holiday has mainly been used for adoption stuff – our home study fell in this holiday year for T and across two years for me. So I had to use less holiday than he did in this year.

Reeling again

And not for the first time during the process (back loaded some of my blogs from private blog covering the process thus far)…..

We saw our SW on Wednesday to discuss our PAR – only a few factual changes to make as we both felt it was a good reflection of us. Although T did say seeing everything written down that we had been through with my health and his job fun since we got together makes him realise quite how much there was. The reassuring thing for me in report was that medical advisor just commented that my ongoing (well-managed) chronic conditions would need discussing through the home study. Our SW commented that I had never had to cancel due to ill-heath and had seemed pretty good throughout the period – which to be honest is true. The last 18 months or so I have felt so much better – many less migraines which I can see from the lack of sick days on my planner at work. Ok had a bit of a blip recently thanks to a very bad hayfever season – but the nasal douching my doctor suggested has made a real difference to me in that I am no longer living with a  low grade permanent sinus headache. This does make a difference to my migraines as well as the build up could trigger them at this time of the year. At least roses (my favourite flower) do not give me any issues – given the number in our front garden at moment.

Pets during approval process

First time post and first time link to #WASO- at least on a public blog. I will eventually transfer over some of the posts from my private blog that I have written during our process. I have fits and starts of writing – depending on what is going on my my life.

We (being T my husband and myself) are approaching the end of the approval process within our local LA. We live  in Yorkshire and are first-time adopters with no birth children, and no experience of IVF or other fertility treatments as we decided that they were not a good idea for us. I work in higher education and T is a healthcare professional. When I say we are approaching end – panel is in a little over 3 weeks and we received our report on Wednesday. Meeting with our social worker next Wednesday to discuss the report – which is pretty fair just needs a few factual changes (and the odd typo).

A tardy Update

So so grateful this semester is over with. I am not sure how I have coped given a stupid timetable and effectively working 4.5 days most weeks (less after Easter when it was 4 days mainly).

But anyway we got through the home study – after my last post we had one session before Easter thanks to a somewhat heavy snow fall in this area the Friday of week before Easter. so the one meeting we did have we looked at our Support network and also a bit more about us as a couple in terms of leisure activities. Our support network is possibly not as wide locally as many but I am slowly working on that with going to the Adoption UK support group regularly and I am sure it will grow once we have a child placed. As to leisure – I do a fair amount (orchestra, Brownies & school governor) and am hopeful all will carry on. the most difficult will be Brownies due to timing but as T says all we can do is wait to see as it all depends on child. SW herself said it was obvious that the one I didn’t want to go for my own sanity was orchestra – which is so true. It was something I carried on through the years of illness and something very close to my heart. It relaxes me and gives me great joy as well as making me forget about other things for 2.5 hrs on a Monday. One can’t be thinking about work when you are playing. For T it will be the sailing – he needs that for similar reasons to my and my music. Also discussed health to some degree.

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Where we are….

Been meaning to update this for a while but work is hectic this semester thanks to a stupid teaching load. One thing the adoption process has done is made me take a hard look at my teaching load and make a serious request for it to be modified.

Anyway we finished our SEF finally at end of January. It was an interesting document to write and I was grateful to my sister for giving me her chronology and schools stuff. Made writing mine a tad easier as I only had to ask Mum about one date – when we moved from where I was born to where N was born. A lot of the SEF made my finally put down on paper some of the issues I have had over the years with everything that has gone on in my life.

Anyway that went off to our social worker and then we waited for first meeting on 8th February. Well actually first we had a meeting with most of the rest of the prep group other than the one older couple. That was a great evening and it was brilliant to find out all of us there had SWs and most were 2-3 meetings into home study. Just us and one other couple hadn’t started. Ended up with T inviting them all to our house in March for a meal.

Continue reading “Where we are….”