Forever

Even now at over 4 weeks since adoption order was granted I still find it difficult somehow to realise that this is forever now. A year ago we’d been identified as potential parents for Sqk but we didn’t know yet. I had a hard June last year which culminated in a funeral.

This year has been so different in that a little boy has been my focus – we’ve started transition to childminder for when I go back to work in 3 weeks (well actually 4 as tagging weeks leave on as childminder on holiday herself first week). Also started process to get name changed in NHS. All in all 38 weeks since we met him have flown by and he is so much part of our lives we forget what it was like before he came.

When he was called in by doctor with our surname this week it sort of brought it home to me. This beautiful, wonderful little boy is now my son forever.

Our best day this week

This is a hard one for me as there are a few things this week that have been great although one of them I talked about last week in our meeting with Pickle’s Mummy at Clumber Park. I think Sqk would count that the best day of this week as he got to puddle splash lots and saw a baby frog. He and Pickle had a great time on what was best day of week in terms of weather till today. Then yesterday we met up with his foster carer and two foster siblings again which made him so happy. Less fallout overnight this time and he & I had a conversation last night about the fact that he was with us forever now and no-one can take him away from Mummy & Daddy. It was lovely to watch him with the two older children and also great for me to see how they interacted with me.

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On holiday again….

This time we have been away for a full week staying in a self-catering lodge on the Lauder Camping & Caravanning Club site. DH & I have camped (in tents then folding campers) since we first met 8 years ago, but at the moment own nothing to camp in. This is a conscious decision we made during home study last year to sell our folding camper (third we’d owned) as we were not going to get any use out of it last year or this we suspected.

Ongoing discussion about if we are going to replace it and with what – tent, folding camper or a caravan. Problem is both of us passed our tests post 1997 so have restrictions on towing so think DH is going to sort that out first. Plus we probably need to make decision about adopting again – which puts things to Xmas of next year. Not certain which way that decision will go as I am very much more in favour and DH is against at moment. One thing we have agreed is to discuss another adoption once Sqk has finished his first term in reception unless birth sibling appears in meantime (which will make DH more favourable towards idea).

Continue reading “On holiday again….”

When I grow up…

This was a question I remember being asked at various points during my childhood. Looking back at what I wrote aged 7 (I have a project I did then)  it appears I wanted to be a teacher and a Mummy. In some ways both are now true – ok I am a university lecturer rather than a  school teacher which I suspect I was thinking about. My mother is a retired teacher and my sister is a teacher – along with me being a school governor as well as an academic.

What I did have to deal with to a level growing up was the assumption (still) that as a girl I would not being going down the science route. I was good at all academic subjects at school so when it came to GCSE options it was a real dilemma – I already knew what A levels I wanted to do (even then I knew I was heading science-ward) – but GCSEs were more traumatic as I could have done pretty much anything (other than Art & DT). I did want to do all three sciences so that left me two options (had to do Maths, both Englishs & a language) – you would not believe how much time it took me to decide to opt for a second language & Music.  Even with the unseen pressure I was still able to stick to my science route – did help that I was pretty much always first (or second) in the year in the subjects. Continue reading “When I grow up…”

News …

I was hoping last week to blog about the fact that Sqk was now legally ours as our final hearing for adoption order was on Maundy Thursday. However due to the fact that neither of the Annex A authors were there the judge adjourned the case to 2nd May. What is frustrating is that our SW had checked with courts when we got date precisely about this fact as she is on annual leave and Sqk's previous SW wrote the annex A before she left the authority to have her first child. She was told it would be fine – which in the end it is not. In addition the judge was the same one who made original placement order and she wanted to know why the agreement for twice yearly indirect contact with birth parents was now once yearly. Simple answer is we do not feel up to writing 6 letters a year (birth parents plus two birth siblings) and the usual approach is once a year for letterbox anyway. All in all a frustrating day on Thursday which had we been told at start one of authors needed to be there we would have requested an adjournment to next week and would not have got ourselves worked up.

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Thoughts

Strange it is to realise today that Sqk has been with us for 3 months and I have 6 months of my planned leave left. Where has the time gone although it does seem like he has been here for longer and we are finding it increasingly difficult to remember life before he arrived. So far we seem to have been lucky on Planet Adoption with a son who has bonded to us and is seeing us as a secure base. I know it is still early days but reading his SW’s words in Annex A brought it all home again. Continue reading “Thoughts”