I haven’t written in a while but that is in part due to time and in part due to lack of inspiration. I started something on ‘friends’ for last week’s WASO but never got round to finishing it. This week has been interesting with some real ups and downs and I feel the need to record it.
National Adoption Week has come round again – and I look at my life and think what a difference a year makes. The equivalent of today last year was the first evening of our Prep Course. Now we are sat 2 1/2 weeks into placement of Sqk. Mind you under the original plan this would have been the first week of Introductions but if you are a regular reader of my blog you will know that things got moved by 4 weeks as otherwise respite care would have bene needed which would have made Intros a lot harder.
Who can say what the future holds for Sqk (the boy's new online name). After all he has only been moved in with us for just over a week. At the moment we are dealing with a tired boy after a couple of bad nights on Thursday & Friday – we made a couple of mistakes in not having proper calm time either night, or me feeding him part of his hot chocolate. Plus he met some new people on both days – my sister, brother-in-law and younger nephew on Thursday and my mother on Friday. He seemed ok with it all but we do wander. Keeping meetings limited this coming week – got his SW and health vistor coming – but luckily due to short distance he has moved his HV is same. Also got a hair cut but that again is with someone he knows. The only new people he is meeting is his other grandparents.
So that is his immediate future – along with me trying to sort out his body clock to the new time. Beyond that it is slow and steady for the foreseeable future. He seems to be alright other than rage tantrums when he is tired which we are slowly working out how to deal with. T is back at work for a day tomorrow – he is working three days this coming week, and then four days for the next 3 weeks. gradual return so Sqk and I can learn to deal with each other from 8am till 6.20pmish. The bond between us is growing I feel which is good.
Future is a big thing – I remember how much I have planned and then things have changed. Our real hope for Sqk in the future is that he is happy with us and can live an independent happy life.
Can’t believe it was only day 4 yesterday – feels like we have know the boy for longer. Posting this the morning after the day before as got caught up last night once we got home with catching up with one of our great friends.
Yesterday started slightly earlier than planned as FC had a doctors appointment (after 14 days with a cold) so we picked the boy up earlier. Spent most of the day at a big park in the next city over which he knows quite well. Well after going via school to drop nursery form off (& me running up hill to home to get empty box for FC). He feel asleep on way to park but once we got there was quite happy in buggy as we wandered to find the children’s play area where he happily spent over an hour playing on various things – and wondering where Daddy & Mummy had disappeared to (we both popped off to use the loos). He then happily walked/ran for 15 mins or so as we wandered further round the park – with the grab handle on his dinosaur backpack coming in handy a few times as he ran off away from Mummy. Eventually he found the packet of grapes daddy has put in the bottom of the buggy so he got back in it to eat them as we walked to find a cafe for lunch.
Cannot believe we are now at this point. Trying to go to sleep night before matching panel – and in a weeks time it should be night before Intros start. I have 4 days left at work till I finish for at least 41 weeks. I had 2 weeks annual leave left which I am using up for first 2 weeks. Plan is the boy will be moved in by 21st Oct but both T & I are hoping for Friday or Saturday before then in our hearts if things go well. Should know more about plan tomorrow as our SW was hoping to have basic plan for us to see then.
Panel not till 2.30 pm so got to occupy ourselves for morning but we have plans that may involve car buying. T was a little shocked by how much boot space buggy took up. After some test diving have found car we want & hopefully the guy who has sold us last 3 cars will be able to do us a good deal on 18 month old version we have found which is specked as we would like at a price we can afford. Now to see what he offers for my current car which he sold us 4 years ago….
Short post today and not on theme unsurprisingly given we are not adopters yet.
Well the theme for todays #waso is relax. Which is a good thing to tell me at moment as I try to get everything done in 4-6 weeks less time than I thought I had. 3 weeks today (13/9) by this time (7pm) I will have finished work for at least 41 weeks….
T has decided the adoption process likes to confound us. There we were happy we had a link and expecting a late Oct/early Nov panel date. That was until today when in Conwy. T tried to answer a call from our SW but failed – she left a message asking him to ring back which he did promptly.
Our son’s SW wants panel on 30th Sept and Intros to start a week later as his FC is going away for a week from 26th Oct and they feel respite to Intros would not be a good thing – could we mange this. Cue two people on Conwy harbour front hurriedly phoning work while on holiday. Fine for me – T has the complication of Eid-al-Adha which is predicted to be around 15th Oct. One cannot get pharmacist locums where we live around either Eid. Cue call back to our SW who understood this and went away to talk to her manager and also medical advisor as the short notice might mean going to panel without meeting her.
We wandered round the Castle at Conwy and then down to Bodnant Gardens. Driving back through Snowdonia at a point we actually had signal, we got an email from our SW telling us she had spoken to her stand-in manager (annual leave for actual manager) who felt we could manage without T for 3 days during second week of Intros and she had also got us a medical advisor appointment the week before proposed panel. We then went looking for phone signal around foot of Snowdon – ended up in car park in Llanberis. Promptly spoke to our SW again as she phoned following up on email to check about FC meeting times. Then T forwarded email to his line manager and company boss, following up by speaking to line manager directly. Meanwhile I finally told my mother (issues with her spreading too many details round family so is kept a bit out of loop) that we had a link and the timescale. Phoned Dad (he is away for work) before sending emails to three people at work who needed to know.
Given work a fine conundrum to solve – I was teaching 2 modules in 6 weeks – now I am not with under 3 weeks to go before term starts. The decision to go with new timescale is absolutely right as we do not want our son disrupted as much as respite could do. Ok have around 4 1/2 weeks to do stuff we thought we had 9 weeks+ to deal with but we will get there. What happens happens for a reason and this match just feels so right to us.
Had a great time yesterday as we attended the wedding (ok technically civil partnership) of one of our great friends. We actually left home on Thursday – spent the night in Chester and then drove to Ynys Môn after a brief shopping trip round Chester.
However Thursday was a bizarre day in many ways – I was all set to use public transport to get to work so I could go straight to T’s work in the evening. Then had a text from social worker at around 7.30 to tell us she would drop the photos of our linked LO off during the day. So plans changed as we wanted to share the photos with our close friends. I drove to work, came home picked up photos (and a customs duty demand from Royal Mail) and made trip back into town to join T. Even that was slightly diverted as went to the Royal Mail office to pick up parcel as I knew it was the earrings I wanted for my outfit.