This week’s theme for #waso is ‘A Year On’ and I decided to reflect where we are compared to a year ago.
What a day. Started well with review meeting showing that everyone felt things were going well. Ok T spent most of it amusing the boy but he still contributed. Moving in day was moved forward to Saturday 🙂 So one more day of this strange situation – and as T pointed out coming back this evening we do not drop him back at FCs again.
Rest of day went equally well – went to local park and fed the ducks – well geese mainly in case of the boy. He did however manage to measure his length twice by running along and not being completely balanced. No crying – just when we insisted he took a hand when a car was around and we were on road. Then off to do weekly shop which was interesting given his dislike of staying in the trolley, or holding hands. Can see online shopping being the way forward with an occassional quick visit for bits as coping with him by myself would not be fun. Anyway after all that he had snacked a fair amount, and fell asleep in car on way home. He’d been up at 5.30 so we let him sleep – woke up when I got him out the car at home, but a few minutes snuggling with Mummy in rocking chair and he was back to sleep again. Once again he showed that he has some bond to me as I could soothe him and get him back to sleep. Meant we got our lunch in peace.
Continue reading “Intros Day 11”
How did today go? Well I feel. The boy & FC arrived as expected – with another load of stuff – including first set of clothes. FC left with boy being pretty upset as she went – I tried to soothe him and was starting to get laughter as well as tears when his SW arrived. After about 15 mins he was fine – distracted him with the glass pebbles in glass bowl on our windowsill which he'd played with yesterday – posting them all behind the fire guard then. Today it was down gap in radiator – but it kept him amused and cheered him up. His SW didn't stay very long but by the time she went he was happy.
We spent the morning playing – and investigating the house more. Again Henry-cat was very patient as the boy fussed him sat on our bed. We played with cars all over the house and watched Fireman Sam snuggled together on the settee. He bounced on me and with my help on the floor. He loves me holding him under arms and bouncing. We played peekabo round the lounge curtain and hide and seek round the dining table. Lots of eye contact as I could get it.
Getting lunch he came into kitchen with me and tried to open doors and drawers – very glad we had safety locks on them all. We ate and raced on a banana at end. Then it was into the car and off to T's pharmacy. The boy feel asleep on the way, woke up after we arrived and then feel asleep in Daddy's arms. So not much of a visit but was pleased to see Daddy. Tomorrow I have decided we go before lunch in the hope he will be awake to see T. Coming back he slept more, woke up when I got him out the car seat and out of his coat. I brought him upstairs to his bedroom and sat down in the rocking chair with him in my arms. He snuggled down and feel asleep on me – tears in my eyes at this point. Eventually I moved him onto the bed and he slept till about 15 mins before FC was due to pick him up when I woke him up. Changed nappy and took him down where he watched a bit more Fireman Sam, which gave FC and I chance to put his slide & swing into garage. The boy gave me a kiss and a cuddle before he left.
Tomorrow I get to pick him up from FCs and then we spend the entire day together – dropping him back at bedtime so he should see Daddy twice. Last day of T working for 11 days – not been ideal during Intros but all agreed best for the boy as otherwise respite would have been needed.
Today was my first day flying solo as T had to work. Also first day at our house – FC stayed as well. After a bit of kerfufle finding us (miscommunication over address) they arrived fine. The boy was alright – I'd got some of his toys out and about on lounge floor so it was at least some familiar stuff. We also explored the whole house and Henry-cat was very patient taking several/minutes fussing before deciding to hide. This was useful as the boy is not used to cats. He did get clingy to FC around lunchtime – general feeling was he was tired so we put him in our buggy after lunch and wandered up to the local park. He had a lot of fun running round trying out everything but fell asleep on short walk back. So I lifted him out of buggy, and brought him into house to lay on his bed. He came to as I lifted him up and as I took his coat of but washappy nough to snuggle back to sleep. FC and I chatted while he slept till I had to wake him so they could get out of our estate before local primary school finished. Chaos does not decsibe the roads at that point and they needed to be back in time to meet other 2 foster children off school bus.
All in all I felt today went ok – was expecting clingyness as he is confused and his secure base is FC at moment. Hopefully tomorrow will b easier when she leave him here. Got his SW coming in morning and then we are taking a trip to see Daddy at work, The boy was asking for T today which is the other reason he was clinging to FC as he has a much stronger attachment at the moment to his Daddy. I've got the time to work on that though.
This evening T attached a hook & eye to our downstairs cloakroom door as the boy kept going in there. We also have put eyes at top & bottom of stack of drawers in dining room so we can tie handles together as the boy also kept opening them. Otherwise fairly child-proofed house – at least on first visit 🙂
Less than 2 years since we started on this journey (Info evening at LA in December 2011), this afternoon the panel recommended our match with the boy who we were linked with at end of August. That timeline includes a 9 month hiatus from Feb – Oct 2012 before the initial social worker recommended us forward. Since then the process has confounded us more than once – the most recent being under 4 weeks ago when we found ourselves with less than 4 weeks to go to panel rather than panel at end of October.
We spent bits of today wandering around various places looking at buggies, cots/toddler beds and the like. Not getting any of that till we have been officially linked and met foster carer. However we did get something that has been on the list for a while – namely a fireguard.
So that is one more item off the list – poor Henry is getting used to these stair gates – particularly one at top which means he can no longer get into bedrooms. Well not until he learns to jump it that is.
Main fun for him will really start when we put the gate into kitchen doorway – we have no door – it now is the cupboard door on landing (don’t ask it is a long story :D) This gate will block him from food and his cat flap – so we are suspecting we made need to find some way to make it easier for him to jump over. I wish somebody made a child gate with a cat flap in…..
Warning very rambling post – which is an indication of my state of mind at the moment…..
As T put it earlier this has been one interesting week. Starting with panel on Monday which was a real high and is still sinking in to be honest even if we had phone call on Thursday to tell it it was all final. Following that I worked Tuesday then have had three days with only partial working ( thankfully summer with no project students). I had what I thought was a migraine Wednesday morning which wasn't that unexpected – I tend to get them after stress has calmed down. But it never properly went and got worse so I looked at blood pressure. It was up beyond the tipping point for me so off to the Doctors I trundled on Thursday to get my dosage increased as we had thought may happen. Slowly sorting but I wish I didn't get these spikes in BP. Hopefully this dosage should keep me stable- T (being a pharmacist) has always said I may need a higher dose than I was initially on.
First time post and first time link to #WASO- at least on a public blog. I will eventually transfer over some of the posts from my private blog that I have written during our process. I have fits and starts of writing – depending on what is going on my my life.
We (being T my husband and myself) are approaching the end of the approval process within our local LA. We live in Yorkshire and are first-time adopters with no birth children, and no experience of IVF or other fertility treatments as we decided that they were not a good idea for us. I work in higher education and T is a healthcare professional. When I say we are approaching end – panel is in a little over 3 weeks and we received our report on Wednesday. Meeting with our social worker next Wednesday to discuss the report – which is pretty fair just needs a few factual changes (and the odd typo).