Our road to adoption (NAW)

National Adoption Week has come round again – and I look at my life and think what a difference a year makes. The equivalent of today last year was the first evening of our Prep Course. Now we are sat 2 1/2 weeks into placement of Sqk. Mind you under the original plan this would have been the first week of Introductions but if you are a regular reader of my blog you will know that things got moved by 4 weeks as otherwise respite care would have bene needed which would have made Intros a lot harder.

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Intros Day 12

What a strange strange day. Picked the boy up from FCs house where he actually let Daddy put him in the car seat rather than insisting FC did it as on last 2 mornings. Then it was a drive off to another local town – mainly to pay a decent cheque from HMRC into bank. Got some more long-sleeved tops for us all and managed to grab a coffee as well although the boy did test boundaries a bit by jumping on furniture. He then insisted on walking (been in buggy up to stop for coffee) which we allowed but he didn’t like holding Daddy’s hand. A bit later he decided to start crawling around in a shop as Mummy was purchasing lumber cushion (new car has good support and I am noticing lack in my car). Eventually Daddy had to pick him up as he kept crawling – saying he was walking. Got back to car where Daddy tried to train the boy on shutting caps on sports bottle tops when not drinking from them and set off home – as is becoming usual he fell asleep on way back.

I did wake him up when we got back and he had a bit of lunch before happily playing around the house – not really registering when T dived out to put another cheque in bank that had arrived in post today. We had discussions over climbing on furniture in shoes and jumping on it as well – allowed to bounce on Mummy & Daddy but not solo. He also managed to start climbing up shelves at one point – can see we are going to be having numerous discussions about this until he gets it. As advised by brother-in-law we are picking our battles carefully – really concentrating on the ones where there is a chance of harm coming to him for now. So holding one of our hands when on roads or in shops and not jumping around on furniture (already fallen and banged his head once).  His FC arrived with most of the rest of his stuff and her other two kids as agreed. They got a tour of the house – partly led by the boy but also by me and played a bit with his stuff before they left for final dinner at Pizza Hut.

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Intros Day 11

What a day. Started well with review meeting showing that everyone felt things were going well. Ok T spent most of it amusing the boy but he still contributed. Moving in day was moved forward to Saturday 🙂 So one more day of this strange situation – and as T pointed out coming back this evening we do not drop him back at FCs again.

Rest of day went equally well – went to local park and fed the ducks – well geese mainly in case of the boy. He did however manage to measure his length twice by running along and not being completely balanced. No crying – just when we insisted he took a hand when a car was around and we were on road. Then off to do weekly shop which was interesting given his dislike of staying in the trolley, or holding hands. Can see online shopping being the way forward with an occassional quick visit for bits as coping with him by myself would not be fun. Anyway after all that he had snacked a fair amount, and fell asleep in car on way home. He’d been up at 5.30 so we let him sleep – woke up when I got him out the car at home, but a few minutes snuggling with Mummy in rocking chair and he was back to sleep again. Once again he showed that he has some bond to me as I could soothe him and get him back to sleep. Meant we got our lunch in peace.
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Intros Day 10

Full day today – well from when I picked the boy up at 9.30 till just before bedtime at 18.45. It went well other than FC having to put boy into car seat first thing that is. We came home and played a bit and had Fireman Sam on in background at times. Saw Henry-cat before he scarpered for the day and drew pretty pictures on my iPad.

the-boy-ipad-1 the-boy-ipad-2

Eventually we set off for T’s pharmacy – he didn’t fall asleep quite as quickly today but was asleep by the time we arrived. However he woke up again and was very glad to see Daddy. Spent about 30 mins or so there – we ran in circles round the shop floor (only one customer in during time we were there). He went through to dispensary in T’s arms and had it explained to him that he should not go through there without one of us.

Drove back with a sleeping boy but arrived home in heavy rain so the boy woke up when I got him out the car and promptly stayed awake. Another fun afternoon of playing with cars and bouncing on Mummy ensued. He came into kitchen with me as I prepared the evening meal for us all. Fed him at his usual time and was pleased when he enjoyed the meal – it was something I’d been told he would eat but wasn’t sure he would eat my version 🙂 I fed him most of two yoghurts although he managed part of the second himself as I had to answer the door. Played a bit more before he had his bath which he really enjoyed and didn’t want to get out of. Just got him dressed in pyjamas when Daddy arrived home which he loved. Eventually we had to reluctantly take him back to FC’s.

Review meeting tomorrow and then full day with us both. Hoping for move in on Saturday….


Intros Day 9

How did today go? Well I feel. The boy & FC arrived as expected – with another load of stuff – including first set of clothes. FC left with boy being pretty upset as she went – I tried to soothe him and was starting to get laughter as well as tears when his SW arrived. After about 15 mins he was fine – distracted him with the glass pebbles in glass bowl on our windowsill which he'd played with yesterday – posting them all behind the fire guard then. Today it was down gap in radiator – but it kept him amused and cheered him up. His SW didn't stay very long but by the time she went he was happy.

We spent the morning playing – and investigating the house more. Again Henry-cat was very patient as the boy fussed him sat on our bed. We played with cars all over the house and watched Fireman Sam snuggled together on the settee. He bounced on me and with my help on the floor. He loves me holding him under arms and bouncing. We played peekabo round the lounge curtain and hide and seek round the dining table. Lots of eye contact as I could get it.

Getting lunch he came into kitchen with me and tried to open doors and drawers – very glad we had safety locks on them all. We ate and raced on a banana at end. Then it was into the car and off to T's pharmacy. The boy feel asleep on the way, woke up after we arrived and then feel asleep in Daddy's arms. So not much of a visit but was pleased to see Daddy. Tomorrow I have decided we go before lunch in the hope he will be awake to see T. Coming back he slept more, woke up when I got him out the car seat and out of his coat. I brought him upstairs to his bedroom and sat down in the rocking chair with him in my arms. He snuggled down and feel asleep on me – tears in my eyes at this point. Eventually I moved him onto the bed and he slept till about 15 mins before FC was due to pick him up when I woke him up. Changed nappy and took him down where he watched a bit more Fireman Sam, which gave FC and I chance to put his slide & swing into garage. The boy gave me a kiss and a cuddle before he left.

Tomorrow I get to pick him up from FCs and then we spend the entire day together – dropping him back at bedtime so he should see Daddy twice. Last day of T working for 11 days – not been ideal during Intros but all agreed best for the boy as otherwise respite would have been needed.


Intros Day 8

Today was my first day flying solo as T had to work. Also first day at our house – FC stayed as well. After a bit of kerfufle finding us (miscommunication over address) they arrived fine. The boy was alright – I'd got some of his toys out and about on lounge floor so it was at least some familiar stuff. We also explored the whole house and Henry-cat was very patient taking several/minutes fussing before deciding to hide. This was useful as the boy is not used to cats. He did get clingy to FC around lunchtime – general feeling was he was tired so we put him in our buggy after lunch and wandered up to the local park. He had a lot of fun running round trying out everything but fell asleep on short walk back. So I lifted him out of buggy, and brought him into house to lay on his bed. He came to as I lifted him up and as I took his coat of but washappy nough to snuggle back to sleep. FC and I chatted while he slept till I had to wake him so they could get out of our estate before local primary school finished. Chaos does not decsibe the roads at that point and they needed to be back in time to meet other 2 foster children off school bus.

All in all I felt today went ok – was expecting clingyness as he is confused and his secure base is FC at moment. Hopefully tomorrow will b easier when she leave him here. Got his SW coming in morning and then we are taking a trip to see Daddy at work, The boy was asking for T today which is the other reason he was clinging to FC as he has a much stronger attachment at the moment to his Daddy. I've got the time to work on that though.

This evening T attached a hook & eye to our downstairs cloakroom door as the boy kept going in there. We also have put eyes at top & bottom of stack of drawers in dining room so we can tie handles together as the boy also kept opening them. Otherwise fairly child-proofed house – at least on first visit 🙂


Intros Day 7

Much shorter day today as FC had the boy’s leaving party today which we did not attend for two reasons – it was his and there was also a security risk involved (not for us directly but still better avoided).

We go there at 7am after a much better get up this morning – both awake at 6am so had time to think unlike yesterday. Got there to the boy opening door and went in and through morning routine again. This time he did eat some breakfast although was still trying to be Houdini out of his booster seat. As we left we had for the first time a bit of a breakdown with him calling for ‘Nanny’ – his FC. Ended up stopping 200 yards down the road and me getting in back with him which worked. Went to another soft play place today that was open from 9.30 – and was actually fairly quiet at first. Continue reading “Intros Day 7”

Intros Day 6

Ok how has it got to day 6 already … time is flying by. By this time on Monday I will have had the boy & his FC at our house for a few hours without T who is working 🙁

Today didn’t start very well with us waking up looking at clock and realising it was 6.49 and we were due at FCs at 7.00. Good thing it is 5 minute drive away 🙂 We had an interesting morning with the routine – the boy was already up but doesn’t get dressed till after breakfast it appears so was sat watching TV with biscuits.  He didn’t want much breakfast – FC said it was the same yesterday so think he is a little unsettled unsurprisingly. Once that was over it was get him dressed in lounge which ended up as FC says it usually does being fun as he did not want to be dressed. Eventually we managed and following a game of see-saw on FCs knees off we went.

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