Today we remember the numerous deaths in the trenches of WWI and the day & hour those guns fell silent as well as the dead in the many wars since. It is also the day the last ceramic poppy is placed in the moat at the Tower of London. This is a tribute that has captured the nation in many ways – with calls for it to remain longer although there are warnings the poppies could crack in the cold so as far as I know it will start to be dismantled tomorrow with the Wave and Weeping Willow segments remaining for a while.
On this date (Tuesday) a year ago, I was doing anything I could to keep busy & distracted – as we had all bank holiday weekend. We’d had the meeting on the Friday afternoon with Sqk’s social worker and were waiting to be told whether we were going to be linked to the little boy who by this time we both had invested a lot of our hearts into. It was late in the day when I got a phonecall from DH to say it was official as the Timehop of my second twitter post of the day shows. Continue reading “Where has a year gone….”
A last minute post for #waso – been on a staycation this week and started back at work last week. Been interesting this week being at home but on holiday – Sqk went to his childminder two days so DH & I had our first days without him since he was placed back in October. We spent first day driving round a lot of caravan places looking at ideas as we have been for last year or so. Second day we mainly pootled about a bit and also caught up on sleep as last week was disturbed with Sqk getting used to Mummy being back at work.
We’ve ended this weekend buying a caravan – Sprite Musketeer EB from 2012 which we saw for first time yesterday (following drive down Yorkshire coast in beautiful sunshine) and both felt was right. We had a lot we wanted from a caravan and also some tight restrictions imposed by towing capability of DH’s car – if he’d not been involved in accident back in March the restriction would have been our licenses (both passed test after 1997). When we saw this one it felt right – we can even not have to make up double bed at front as seats are long enough for us to sleep on.
We were not planning to buy till Spring but there are not many of these about (layout we want was one year of manufacture only) so after playing with budget DH decided we could afford it. Plan is to have it on a seasonal pitch (within a couple of hours from home) next year so we can get Sqk used to it as a secure base in one location before we do any serious touring with it. We both loved the flexibility the folding camper gave us and with being basically restricted to school holidays as of Sept 2015 the caravan will allow us to not have to pay the earth for holidays.
Sqk’s highlight of the week i suspect was the treat we’ve had planned for over 6 months. On Wednesday we took him to see ‘In the Night Garden Live’ over in Manchester. He was enthralled for the whole show and has mentioned it at random intervals ever since. Both feel it was a good thing to have paid out for given how much he enjoyed it. But he also loved our Friday meetup in the park with other local adopters – the freedom to run and play was great. He is going to miss it this coming week but there is a security risk for us plus Mummy is actually working so he is going to Granny’s.
I needed this week off even though I have only been back a week as on Thursday I hit the busiest point of my summer – A-level results day so Clearing starts. I have a little issue to sort tomorrow in that the person who I thought was dealing with hours I can’t goes away again next Saturday. However work has to accept that now Sqk is I cannot do the 12+ hour shifts I have done every year up to now.
Lets see where life goes now….
This time we have been away for a full week staying in a self-catering lodge on the Lauder Camping & Caravanning Club site. DH & I have camped (in tents then folding campers) since we first met 8 years ago, but at the moment own nothing to camp in. This is a conscious decision we made during home study last year to sell our folding camper (third we’d owned) as we were not going to get any use out of it last year or this we suspected.
Ongoing discussion about if we are going to replace it and with what – tent, folding camper or a caravan. Problem is both of us passed our tests post 1997 so have restrictions on towing so think DH is going to sort that out first. Plus we probably need to make decision about adopting again – which puts things to Xmas of next year. Not certain which way that decision will go as I am very much more in favour and DH is against at moment. One thing we have agreed is to discuss another adoption once Sqk has finished his first term in reception unless birth sibling appears in meantime (which will make DH more favourable towards idea).
This was a question I remember being asked at various points during my childhood. Looking back at what I wrote aged 7 (I have a project I did then) it appears I wanted to be a teacher and a Mummy. In some ways both are now true – ok I am a university lecturer rather than a school teacher which I suspect I was thinking about. My mother is a retired teacher and my sister is a teacher – along with me being a school governor as well as an academic.
What I did have to deal with to a level growing up was the assumption (still) that as a girl I would not being going down the science route. I was good at all academic subjects at school so when it came to GCSE options it was a real dilemma – I already knew what A levels I wanted to do (even then I knew I was heading science-ward) – but GCSEs were more traumatic as I could have done pretty much anything (other than Art & DT). I did want to do all three sciences so that left me two options (had to do Maths, both Englishs & a language) – you would not believe how much time it took me to decide to opt for a second language & Music. Even with the unseen pressure I was still able to stick to my science route – did help that I was pretty much always first (or second) in the year in the subjects. Continue reading “When I grow up…”
Actually it is 6 months 1 week and 1 day since we brought Sqk back to this house forever. DH commented earlier that ‘is it really only 6 months’ and ‘where has the time gone’. Both of us struggle to remember fully life before Sqk came along, much as when we got together within 6 months we struggled to remember live pre-meeting. We still count ourselves really blessed to have had on the whole a relatively easy placement given Sqk was 2 yrs 3 mths old with a bond that deepens by the day and we feel an attachment that is growing. Yes he hasn’t experienced as much trauma as many. His is the loss of his birth mother at 1 week old (he never left hospital) and then the loss of his foster carer from 5 weeks old when he was placed with us. However his FC did a wonderful job is preparing him well and I still feel lucky. I want to sort out his life-story book and then we can start looking at that with him. Hoping he understands that he is adopted from a young age – although to him at moment it must seem quite normal as most of the children he meets are in the same situation.
We met FC and foster-siblings again this week and had little fallout from that. On Friday the local adoption support group had a meet-up in the park which was great for both of us although Sqk interacted little with the other children as the 2 girls he knew from Adoption Stay & Play were off playing with the elder girl there that they now from other park meet-ups. He did love the trampoline – just justifying that we do need to get a trampoline as we thought. As the weather improves these meet-ups will happen on a Sunday monthly I believe which will give all of us chance to interact with others.
More fallout tonight I think after Daddy had not been here at bedtime two nights out of three. He was here tonight but we think Sqk must have slept poorly last night although every-time I checked he was fine as he has been distinctly tired today. Even he recognised he was tired and asked to go to bed early although he is only just now settling down to sleep after a tired tantrum. I love him so much but he has been hard work today – at least next week we are back into routine again which will help. Then of course we are off to Scotland on Saturday morning for a week’s holiday so routine will go again but at least DH will be around to share the burden.
Sqk is a wonderful boy who had me nearly in tears as I watched him play with the children of the other adopters from my prep group last week. Yes he has his moments when we are trying to work out what is going on his little head like tonight and not going to sleep even though he knew he was tired and had asked to go to bed. All in all 6 months in I do not regret anything and just wish he was legally ours….
Some quick thoughts after watching this programme on Channel 4 (also recorded for future viewing). Just edited and linking to #waso as I may not get chance to write much on this week’s theme.
It’s got to Sunday night again and once again I am writing my #waso post at last minute – and not on theme as I don’t have a lot to say about recipes at the moment. other than the fun i have adapting old favourites to be lactose-free (for Sqk) and gluten-free (for me). Actually former isn’t too bad as I can get lacto-free milk & cream, but latter can be more fun. Thankfully Mum is a great baker and also is totally gluten-free (unlike me who should be but runs the risks to eat it when it is easier) – this means I have access to plenty of recipes for favourite foods that are gluten-free. DH is getting used to food that is a bit different – and my friends are all great at finding places to eat (as proved again this weekend).
This week has been really about getting used to a new routine Monday-Friday as given DH has no car I (and Sqk) are running him to work and picking him up at 6pm. Morning isn’t too much change bar us leaving house with Daddy and therefore making sure we all get up fairly early. Evening however means I am feeding Sqk earlier and getting him into pyjamas before we go to pharmacy (he gets last nappy change at pharmacy) – if it is bath night that happens before dinner rather than after. All this meant a few disturbed nights and trouble getting a little boy to sleep which calmed down by Thursday. I did realise we are really getting a structure to our Mon-Fri routine, pre-school Mon, music group Tues, playgroup Weds, pre-school Thurs & adoption playgroup Fri.
Then of course we went away for weekend to meet friends and Friday night was disturbed – he finally (after 2 hrs in car) fell asleep at 1.30am on Saturday morning. Saturday itself was a great day – we hadn’t seen our friends since their civil partnership ceremony right at end of August – and it was just after that while we were on holiday in North Wales that the fast forward button was pressed on us again – so that we are at matching panel at end of September and Sqk moved in in mid-October. Like everyone who meets him Sqk charmed them and was a fairly delightful little boy although we had a minor temper tantrum when we put him back in buggy at one point. Last night was easier once we got him calmed down from the tantrum he went into – over-tired I reckon. we did drive up and down motorway between 2 junctions twice but got him to sleep and then I got him into hotel and to bed without waking. Was very pleased with DH in that he managed not to lose it during tantrum and stayed clam and empathetic with me. Sqk had thrown a tantrum coming back on Friday & my friend (who has birth child as well as adopted child) said how impressed she was with me staying as calm as I did. He’s been so tired recently thanks to the disturbed nights that I’ve had a fair few tantrums due to tiredness. Therefore I seem to have learnt to deal with them calmly even when I have no idea what the trigger is – it’s that situation that still winds DH up unfortunately.
Anyway we came back north this morning and have brought a new car for DH this afternoon – so only got to do the running a taxi service until Thursday morning as he is collecting car Thursday evening. So will then have to get Sqk back into old routine – joy…..